1.The Thing That Only Eats Hippies
Lyricist：Joesph Genaro, Dean Sabatino, David Schulthise, Rodney
Underman
Wendel brought it to life in his guest room bath tub
It was a special project for his 4-H club
But it broke loose out in the middle of the night
And now it's eatin' flower children left and right
All the punks are gonna scream, yippee
'Cause it's the thing that only eats hippies
First it cruised on out to Malibu
And ate a couple a' surfers who where too tough to chew
So it slithered it's way out to old Irvine
And ate a couple a' hippies and they tasted just fine
Now, its got a sweet tooth for long hair
So, Bob and Greg and Grant you should beware
Followin' the dead is how it gets it's kicks
Shame it wasn't born in 1966
Listens to the music and begins to sway
Dreamin' acid dreams of a hippie souffle
Hey hey hey
What do they taste like, some kind a' treat？
How many hippies can this monster eat？
It ate stills and Nash before they could shout
And then it chewed on David Crosby but it spit him out
All the punks are gonna scream, yippee
'Cause it's the thing that only eats hippies
There it goes
Gonna send 'em all to that big folk festival in the sky
So long suckers
2.Moron
Lyricist：Joseph Genaro, Dean Sabatino, David Schulthise, Rodney
Underman
Hangin' out in the commode
Listening to Depeche Mode
You look like some kind of toad
Why are you a moron？
Got a skateboard, gnarly rad
With money from your mom and dad
Take a bath 'cause you smell bad
Why are you a moron？
Walkin' down on old South Street
Say, 'Hello' to the kids you meet
If knowing you is such a treat
Then why are you a moron？
Got kicked out of public school
Make a waste of our gene pool
Face it asshole, you're a fool
Why are you a moron？
I'm starin' at a wall doin' nothin' at all
Gotta get out a' here I could use some beer
Wish I could get some beer
I could use some beer tonight
In and out of trendy clubs
With a pair of day glow gloves
You're the only one you love
Why are you a moron？
Tell us you've got somethin' to say
Then bore us with your anarchy
We just wish you'd go away
Why are you a moron？
A trendy loser's what you are
It's your scene and your it's czar
I'd like to see you covered with tar
Why are you a moron？
Creeps like you should be wiped out
You've got a face just like a trout
Listen to everybody shout
'Why are you a moron？'
I'm followin' the trends 'cause I wanna
Have some friends, I wanna be somebody
Don't wanna be nobody, I wanna be
Somebody. I wanna be with someone tonight
I swear that you are Hitler's clone
You spread disease wherever you roam
Got the brains of a garden gnome
Why are you a moron？
Voted for Reagan not once but twice
Think that Jerry Falwell's nice
Do you keep your brains on ice？
Why are you a moron？
In the end you're all alone
No one calls you on the phone
Got no job you've got no home
Why are you a moron？
Hangin' out in the commode
Listenin' to Depeche Mode
You look like some kind of toad
You're just a fuckin' moron
I'm freezed up inside, all my brain cells
Have died, I'm gonna get out a' here, I'm
Gonna get out a' here, I'm gonna get out
A' here, I'm gonna get out a' here, tonight
3.Two Feet Off The Ground
Lyricist：Joseph Genaro, Dean Sabatino, David Schulthise, Rodney
Underman
Illusions are real
So just feel the way you feel
It's time to unwind
Well, just relax, you'll feel fine
Light up a smoke
(Do, do, do, do, do)
'Cause life is no joke
(Do, do, do, do, do)
Shake your head and hear the sound
Take another look around
Nothing's lost that isn't found
You're just two feet off the ground
Green army men
They're comin' in from the sky
Let's take a trip through the bakery
And tell us what you can't see and
Light up a smoke
(Do, do, do, do, do)
'Cause life is no joke
(Do, do, do, do, do)
Shake your head and hear the sound
Take another look around
Nothing's lost that isn't found
You're just two feet off the ground
Light up a smoke
(Do, do, do, do, do)
'Cause life is no joke
(Do, do, do, do, do)
Shake your head and hear the sound
Take another look around
Nothing's lost that isn't found
And you're just two feet off the ground
Off the ground, off the ground
Off the ground, off the ground
Off the ground, off the ground
Ground
Ground
Ground
...
4.Where The Tarantula Lives
Lyricist：Joseph Genaro, Rodney Linderman, Dean Sabatino, David
Schulthise
Holland is ruled by Midgets
Pope owns CBS
Subway cars have been equipped with bars
And they're cloning Rudolph Hess
Samantha Fox, gone frigid
The President's painted green
Jesus Christ has been frozen in ice
But He still makes the scene
Everybody wants to know what gives
But I know where the Tarantula lives
Jim Bakker got eaten by wombats
Fever's spread to town
Ol' Doris Day has been taken away
Has anybody seen my downs？
Popeye got killed in combat
Donny and Marie went punk
B.F. Skinner has eaten my dinner
There's a body in that trunk
Everybody wants to know what gives
But I know where the Tarantula lives
Uncle Bob caught fire
Those protesters are on strike
Mr. Green Jeans is acting obscene
'Cause his Jello has been spiked
Honesty is a liar
The truth is in the sink
Auntie Bess says, 'I must confess
Now what do you all think？'
Everybody wants to know what gives
But I know where the Tarantula lives
Everybody wants to know what gives
But I know where the Tarantula lives
Everybody wants to know what gives
But I know where the Tarantula lives
I know where
Everybody wants to know what gives
But I know where the Tarantula lives
5.Swampland of Desire
Lyricist：Joseph Genaro, Dean Sabatino, David Schulthise, Rodney
Underman
I will trim your fir trees
And I will light your fire
And I will wrestle alligators
In your swampland of desire
And I will come upon you like
Lightning from above
And I will plant my feet into your
Quagmire of love
Quagmire of love
Quagmire of love
I will trim your fir trees
And I will light your fire
And I will wrestle alligators
In your swampland of desire
So here's to my little Sunbelt Queen
I'll take you places that you've never been
And I will show you things that you have never seen
And I will tell you all about Martin Sheen
I will trim your fir trees
And I will light your fire
And I will wrestle alligators
In your swampland of desire
And I will come upon you like
Lightning from above
And I will plant my feet into your
Quagmire of love
I will trim your fir trees
And I will light your fire
And I will wrestle alligators
In your swampland of desire
6.Fifty Things
Lyricist：Joseph Genaro, Dean Sabatino, David Schulthise, Rodney
Underman
Paul told us all he's gonna have a baby
But Jeanie said,. 'Paul can't do that'
So Paul got mad and left in a hurry
Now Jeanie's sure he forgot his hat
I've got fifty things to do
But I'll get back to you
(And)
Somebody left a body in the basement
No, I'm not sure just a who it is
But, Tamara went down there and saw it this morning
She says it kinda looks like her Uncle Jim
I've got fifty things to do
But I'll get back to you
(And)
No, I won't do your dishes
No, I won't clean up this mess
No, I haven't got any pills
No, I haven't got any hash
No, I won't do your dishes
I won't clean up this goddamn mess
Chuck got up and made a cup of coffee
Stepped on a roach and went back to bed
When Tina got up, she saw the roach
'Is this for breakfast？', is what she said
I've got fifty things to do
But I'll get back to you
(And)
Pat's comin' over about 2：30
Danny'll be here 'bout quarter to four
If one more person comes to see me
Gonna have to get a revolvin' door
No, I haven't seen your skateboard
I haven't seen your Black Flag patch
No, I haven't seen your records
I haven't seen any of that
No, I haven't seen your skateboard
I haven't seen your Black Flag patch
Barbara, I'm sorry if you were unhappy
But you can't say I didn't try
So many things I wanted to do
So many things, but such little time
I've got fifty things to do
But, I'll get back to you
Fifty things to do
But, I'll get back to you
7.Air Crash Museum
Lyricist：Joseph Genaro, Rodney Linderman, Dean Sabatino, David
Schulthise
Went out to feed the cattle
And to my surprise
My lawn was full of bodies
Just a gatherin' up the flies
A big ol' jet liner
Had dropped from out of the sky
Well, I was so darn happy
That I couldn't believe my eyes
We're gonna stuff 'em
Put 'em on display
'Tween Patsy Cline
And Buddy Holly
Loadin' up my tractor
Gonna take the bodies inside
Betty Lou will bring the sawdust
And I've got the Formaldehyde
I'm callin' up my neighbors
Tell 'em all to drop by
A body stuffin' party
And we'll bake some kidney pie
We're gonna stuff 'em
Put 'em on display
'Tween Patsy Cline
Buddy Holly
We'll have our own
Air Crash Museum
People lined for miles
Just to see 'em
Jim Croce's in the corner
The Big Bopper's by the stairs
Ricky Nelson's in the kitchen
But nobody cares
8.I Hear Your Name
Lyricist：Joseph Genaro, Rodney Linderman, Dean Sabatino, David
Schulthise
Across the sea, across the sea
That's where your hand was takin' me
Goin' to places that I've never been
I hear your name
Someone's calling your name
I better go now
Someone's calling your name
I thought I saw you in a department store
You turned the corner and it wasn't you
I thought I saw you walkin' on the sidewalk
I blew my horn but you were someone else
I hear your name
Someone's calling your name
I better go now
Someone's calling your name
Open a window, open a window
Walk through the windows
Walkin' through windows
9.Take Me Apart
Lyricist：Joseph Genaro, Dean Sabatino, David Schulthise, Rodney
Underman
After two years
And two hundred thousand tears
To have it end this way
The people on the hill
I know, they're up there still
'Cause we were giants in those days
And I was always the one
You said could never adjust
Well, look at me now, girl
And eat my dust
Because you always got
What you wanted
Right from the start
Now finish the job, take me apart
People at the college
God, they laughed and shook their heads
They remember us living
But they would have
Loved to seen us dead
And you were always the one
Who said I could never get along
Well, look at me now, girl
'Cause I'm still strong
You know you always got
What you wanted
Right from the start
Now finish the job, take me apart
I stole, I lied, I cried for you
I nearly died for you
You always got what you wanted
Right from the start
Now finish the job, take me apart
Take me apart, take me apart
You always got what you wanted
Right from the start
Now finish the job, take me apart
10.Six Days
Lyricist：Joseph Genaro, Dean Sabatino, David Schulthise, Rodney
Underman
I've been to Phoenix
So goddamn hot
110 in the shade
I didn't like it a lot
I've been to L.A.
So sunny and bright
So clean and good for you
It don't feel right
Six days we'll be away from here
We'll steal a car, hijack a plane
I've been to Denver
8 miles high
I didn't like it
And you know why
Deep down in New Orleans
We met with guns
Those people got a weird idea
Of what is fun
Six days maybe New Mexico
Or would it all just be the same
I've seen El Paso
Ain't goin' back
Spit across the border
And those brothers spit back
I loved it in Austin
I wanted to stay
Cheap rent and lone star beer
Lots a' places to play
Six days we'll be away from here
We'll steal a car, hijack a plane
In just six days
In just six days
In just six days
11.Earwig
Lyricist：Joseph Genaro, Dean Sabatino, David Schulthise, Rodney
Underman
Your ears fell off in the parking lot
Your blood's still drippin', God, I hope it clots
You say you're okay but we know you're not
Your eyes went crossed do you see spots？
Well, I'm not sayin' that you're gonna die
I just might be hintin' that you'll feel a little ill
And I guess we've all learned a lesson
And I guess we'll all get a little thrill
Your hands fell off and then your mind eroded
Your arms fell asleep and then your lungs corroded
Shoulders slumped forward then your heart exploded
Looked pretty gross so we all got loaded
Well, I'm not sayin' that you're gonna die
I just might be hintin' that you won't be around
And you can go ahead and sell all your records
'Cause you got an appointment 6 feet underground
And you got an earwig
It's crawling towards your brain
And you got an earwig
The glorious pain
Your mind went blank about a week ago
Your hair fell out but you didn't know
Ya' might wanna relax and take it slow
'Cause in a couple a' days you might begin to glow
Well, I'm not sayin' that you're gonna die
I just might be hintin' that you may puke a lot
And could ya' pay me that money ya' owe me
Ya' know I really hate to put you on the spot
'Cause you got an earwig
It's crawling towards your brain
And you got an earwig
The fashionable pain
Well, I'm not sayin' that you're gonna die
I just might be hintin' that you'll bee a little ill
And I guess we've all learned our lesson
And I guess we'll all get a little thrill
12.Beach Party Vietnam
Lyricist：Joesph Genaro, Dean Sabatino, David Schulthise, Rodney
Underman
It's a beach party Vietnam
Surfin' with the Viet Cong
Cookin' hot dogs with napalm
A beach party Vietnam
Frankie and Annette were layin' on the sand
When Frank got a letter from his Uncle Sam
It said, 'Get Moon Dog and all your friends
You're all invited to a'
Beach party Vietnam
Surfin' with the Viet Cong
Cookin' hot dogs with napalm
A beach party Vietnam
'Hey Frankie, aren't you gonna give me your class ring？'
'Oh, I'm afraid I can't do that, Annette'
'Why not？'
''Cause I don't have any arms'
Beach party Vietnam
Surfin' with the Viet Cong
Cookin' hot dogs with napalm
A beach party Vietnam
Annette, she wants Frankie's ring
Frankie wants Annette's thing
They're layin' on the West Coast
There's gonna be a wiener roast
Beach party Vietnam
Surfin' with the Viet Cong
Cookin' hot dogs with napalm
A beach party Vietnam
13.The Fez
Lyricist：Joseph Genaro, Rodney Linderman, Dean Sabatino, David
Shulthise
Hello Colin, it's the Fez
Who has angered the volcano god？
Who has angered the volcano god？
Who has angered the volcano god？
Who has angered the volcano god？
You have angered the volcano god
I'd like to help you, son, but you smell like a goat
(Ha, ha, ha, ha)
Chonga, the goat-boy's in the village again
Chonga, the goat-boy's in the village again
He's frightening the women and he's raping the men because
Chonga, the goat-boy's in the village again
Excuse me while I puke and die
(Ha, ha, ha, ha)
Oh, he pisses me off, huh？ You know what
What really gets me mad in this life？
The goddamn periodic table of elements
They've got 109 or so naturally occurring elements
Then they've got 10 or 11 of these
Non-naturally occurring man-made elements
They give them names like Einsteinium
Californium and Nobelium
And what I want to know is
If they're man made
Then how the hell can they be elements, huh？
Know what's bothering my mind？
There's a time for taking
And a time for giving
But ripping off the Butthole Surfers
Is how we make our living
(Ha, ha, ha, ha)
14.Kksuck2
15.Happy Is
Lyricist：Anthony Joseph Genaro, Rodney Linderman, Dean Sabatino, David
Schulthise
Happy is the bride
The sun shines upon
Happy is the corpse
The rain falls down upon
You say I'm happy
You know that can't be true
'Cause I won't be happy
Till I annihilate you
Like some worm that crawls on the ground
Like someone we don't want around
You're the unwanted relative at the picnic
Like some worm that crawls on the ground
Like someone we don't want around
Happy is the bride
The sun shines upon
Happy is the corpse
The rain falls down upon
You say I'm happy
You know that that's a lie
'Cause I won't be happy
Till I see you die
Like some river they had to pollute
Like some mad dog we gotta shoot
We're gonna have to end your misery
Like some river they had to pollute
Like some mad dog we gotta shoot
Happy are the children
Playin' in the sun
Happy is my wife
Her day of work is done
You say I'm happy
You know that can't be true
'Cause I won't be happy
Till I annihilate you
Like some worm that crawls on the ground
Like someone we don't want around
You're the unwanted relative at the picnic
Like some worm that crawls on the ground
Like someone we don't want around
Happy is the bride
The sun shines upon
Happy is the corpse
The rain falls down upon
16.Vince Lombardi Service Center
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